Just a quick update, so I keep in the spirit of posting consistently.
I've started doing meditation again. I'm only a couple days in, but I think it will be good for me. I've read tons of solid research on the topic. Here's the biggest thing, from all of the meditation talks I've read, I haven't been able to figure out everything entirely from it. Which leads me to believe two things: 1.) I'm just really bad at understanding people, and maybe I can use that and when I learn what it's all about, I can better help people with any meditation questions they have, or 2.) Its not something that can really be learned, it just has to be done.
I'm actually leaning toward this second one, because I feel that its a complete re-wiring of the brain. Even so, I'm hoping to be able to identify exactly what has changed, and maybe help people that way.
Other than that, I'm going down to my in-laws for Thanksgiving! I probably won't be posting until this weekend again.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I hope you have a great week, and eat tons of delicious foods!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
Effort
I'm really believing that I tried to do too much at once. Mainly when it concerns with my working out.
Basically, what would happen, I would get super motivated to get into shape, and then throw myself into this workout I thought would be great for me. I would stick with it from 1-2 weeks, then drop it. Then a few weeks later, I'd try again. This was my insanity, p90x, and other workout routines. The biggest thing, I think, was that I got bored/tired/whatever of it before a month, and it never became a habit. Well, I'm hoping this is turning around.
Last Wednesday, I randomly stumbled across www.nerdfitness.com. This website had some really good articles and a very basic workout routine. That night, before I watched a movie with my dad, I randomly pulled out my pullup/pushup bar, and went through a cycle of just working the different upper body muscles.
And over the next 3 days, I was sore, and it was great! So, on Monday, I did it again. I didn't get as sore, but I could still feel that I did something. It wasn't as motivational, but still felt good to do something.
Wednesday of this week though, I decided to try his "Beginner" workout. This entailed doing 3 sets of what I thought was a super easy workout. 20 squats, 10 pushups, 20 walking lunges, 10 bent over rows, 30 seconds of planks, and 30 jumping jacks. I figured I'd do these 3 sets, and then not know how to advance.
After work on Wednesday, I just went for it. And... I only made it through 2 sets. I couldn't believe that something that I thought should be so easy, when form is focused on, would do such a number on my body.
Here I am, two days later, and my legs are still super sore. I'm now convinced I can do tons of little things here and there and still make improvements. I'm going to use this starting small, to hopefully start and keep the habits I wish to make.
Also, its only been a week, but I can feel the muscle gain.
Basically, what would happen, I would get super motivated to get into shape, and then throw myself into this workout I thought would be great for me. I would stick with it from 1-2 weeks, then drop it. Then a few weeks later, I'd try again. This was my insanity, p90x, and other workout routines. The biggest thing, I think, was that I got bored/tired/whatever of it before a month, and it never became a habit. Well, I'm hoping this is turning around.
Last Wednesday, I randomly stumbled across www.nerdfitness.com. This website had some really good articles and a very basic workout routine. That night, before I watched a movie with my dad, I randomly pulled out my pullup/pushup bar, and went through a cycle of just working the different upper body muscles.
And over the next 3 days, I was sore, and it was great! So, on Monday, I did it again. I didn't get as sore, but I could still feel that I did something. It wasn't as motivational, but still felt good to do something.
Wednesday of this week though, I decided to try his "Beginner" workout. This entailed doing 3 sets of what I thought was a super easy workout. 20 squats, 10 pushups, 20 walking lunges, 10 bent over rows, 30 seconds of planks, and 30 jumping jacks. I figured I'd do these 3 sets, and then not know how to advance.
After work on Wednesday, I just went for it. And... I only made it through 2 sets. I couldn't believe that something that I thought should be so easy, when form is focused on, would do such a number on my body.
Here I am, two days later, and my legs are still super sore. I'm now convinced I can do tons of little things here and there and still make improvements. I'm going to use this starting small, to hopefully start and keep the habits I wish to make.
Also, its only been a week, but I can feel the muscle gain.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Strengths
While I do have a lot of things that I'm not doing as well as I had hoped in, I've decided its time for once for me to show off the one thing I'm strong in: my mind. I'm currently using the website Lumosity.com . In wanting to work on habits, it is one habit that I'm staying with, as well as building up a workout routine that's fun for me and will push me. Below I have my scores as compared to other people. In case people don't understand the concept of a percentile: That is how many people that I am scoring higher than. E.g. 90th percentile means I scored higher than 90% of the people.
One more Hero!
So, I forgot about one last hero.
BOLIN!!! (From The Legend of Korra). For those of you who haven't seen season 2 yet, Bolin's character development in the last 4 episodes is wonderful. Definitely hero material. I love Bolin because for the most part he is goofy and carefree, and he always wears his heart on his sleeve. However, when it comes time to get down to business, he's ready to step up and kick tail.
Just another character I wish to strive to be more like.
BOLIN!!! (From The Legend of Korra). For those of you who haven't seen season 2 yet, Bolin's character development in the last 4 episodes is wonderful. Definitely hero material. I love Bolin because for the most part he is goofy and carefree, and he always wears his heart on his sleeve. However, when it comes time to get down to business, he's ready to step up and kick tail.
Just another character I wish to strive to be more like.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Heroes
(No, I'm not done with cleaning. I'm much further, but the last 10% is killing me).
However, this post is randomly about my anime heroes. I have 4, who I want to strive to be like. Vash the Stampede. He's /the/ top gunman in the world, and could kill anyone in a blink of an eye. Does he do it? No. He's a pacifist. He's going to try as hard as he can to resolve the situation without violence. "LOVE AND PEACE!"
Second, Aang. (Not "Ahng"). He has the ability to control all of the elements. But his goal is global peace. He achieves this by using his random humor and by having a great support team. I love him. He's carefree but wants the best for the world.
Third: The seeker. I've forgotten so much about him. He's called the seeker of truth. He's true to his cause, and will do anything for what he thinks is right. Just an all around great role model for me.
Lastly, Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV, smart, ingenious, and has this way of just doing what is needed at the right time. (Cowboy Bebob.).
If you guys don't mind "Cartoons", you should watch these four. I hope to integrate their best aspects into one great person.
However, this post is randomly about my anime heroes. I have 4, who I want to strive to be like. Vash the Stampede. He's /the/ top gunman in the world, and could kill anyone in a blink of an eye. Does he do it? No. He's a pacifist. He's going to try as hard as he can to resolve the situation without violence. "LOVE AND PEACE!"
Second, Aang. (Not "Ahng"). He has the ability to control all of the elements. But his goal is global peace. He achieves this by using his random humor and by having a great support team. I love him. He's carefree but wants the best for the world.
Third: The seeker. I've forgotten so much about him. He's called the seeker of truth. He's true to his cause, and will do anything for what he thinks is right. Just an all around great role model for me.
Lastly, Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV, smart, ingenious, and has this way of just doing what is needed at the right time. (Cowboy Bebob.).
If you guys don't mind "Cartoons", you should watch these four. I hope to integrate their best aspects into one great person.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
[Cleaning] +2!
So, I'm on day 3 of [cleaning] my room. By this, I mean I'm [sorting through everything I own], and [throwing away] the things I don't need. This is a daunting task. I didn't expect it to take so long, but after realizing how much I have to go through and take care of, I readjusted my expectations.
The hard thing, is how much it seems there still is to do. Per yesterday, there are too many things to [clean] to count, and so it was still a large, unshrinking pile. But I was smart! I took a picture of Day 1! And when I compared it today, there's progress. I'm hanging in there! At this rate, it may take quite a while, but it's still getting done!
The hard thing, is how much it seems there still is to do. Per yesterday, there are too many things to [clean] to count, and so it was still a large, unshrinking pile. But I was smart! I took a picture of Day 1! And when I compared it today, there's progress. I'm hanging in there! At this rate, it may take quite a while, but it's still getting done!
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
[Cleaning] +1!
So, continuing from my post the other day, I think my next biggest problem is the fact that I look at my [room], and see only 1 [mess]. When in actuality, it consists of [438] items in one pile. This reaffirms the whole, "[Clean] 1 item at a time". Because in the end, that huge pile that contained [438] items, will only contain [400] items if I [clean up] [38]. While in my mind it is still only 1 pile, its smaller. And I should acknowledge that!
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
[Cleaning]!
Random things I think I need to remember while [cleaning] my room. There are [437] items strewn across my room. But if I engage in [cleaning] my room, I can't expect that number to drop by [20] or [30]. No. It takes one [item cleaned up] at a time.
Even more to focus on is the fact that I can't just be happy when I get my room [cleaned]. I should be happy and happier for each [item cleaned up]. Because that's progress. I may not reach my goal at the end of the day, but I will have at least worked toward it. And by working toward it, it means I'm that much closer tomorrow.
Even more to focus on is the fact that I can't just be happy when I get my room [cleaned]. I should be happy and happier for each [item cleaned up]. Because that's progress. I may not reach my goal at the end of the day, but I will have at least worked toward it. And by working toward it, it means I'm that much closer tomorrow.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Self-esteem
So, first off, I need to address something that has been bothering me a bit. I created this blog to be able to write freely for myself, and to just explore myself. If people learned from what I had to say, then that would be amazing. However, I lost focus very quickly, and wanted to try my hardest to help people learn something. I wasn't true to myself. I was focusing on others too much.
That said, I've become hesitant to say negative things about myself. I'm not entirely sure if it was because I'd be embarrassed, or I just wanted to remain looking strong to give others hope. But I'm going to throw it out there, so maybe if others are feeling this way, they can relate (And hopefully start a conversation with me).
Here's where I struggle: I've very low self-esteem. It seems to conflict, because I have this hidden source of confidence that I can't identify. This allows me to go up to random strangers and not worry about what they think about me. I won't get too into this, but it prevents me from being myself.
So, the resolution? I need to start believing in myself. I'm not sure how directly. Until then, I'm going to start using other people. I'm going to quote an anime to get me started (Gurren Lagann). Kamina, this totally awesome character, won't let Simon, the main character, not do something because he is afraid. He has all the confidence in Simon, and Kamina lets his actions show this by not taking over when he could easily have handled the situation. One time, Simon began to panic and was about to let fear take over and give up. But Kamina said something to him, which caused him to act and persevere. He told Simon: "Don't believe in yourself. Believe in me who believes in you."
I'm going to be honest, every time I see this scene, I tear up. That confidence, that trust, his willingness to put his life on the line, showed me that Kamina was using the word "believe" to the full extent. If I can't seem to find that belief in myself at the moment, then I'm going to believe in others' belief in me. There has to be some reason why they are there for me, and that stemmed from who I am.
This leads to my final thought: I've been focusing so hard on "being better". I now see that it is too broad. That can mean too many things. There's almost an infinite amount of ways I could "be better", but lose who I am. Therefore, I'm going to start focusing on this: "being a better me."
That said, I've become hesitant to say negative things about myself. I'm not entirely sure if it was because I'd be embarrassed, or I just wanted to remain looking strong to give others hope. But I'm going to throw it out there, so maybe if others are feeling this way, they can relate (And hopefully start a conversation with me).
Here's where I struggle: I've very low self-esteem. It seems to conflict, because I have this hidden source of confidence that I can't identify. This allows me to go up to random strangers and not worry about what they think about me. I won't get too into this, but it prevents me from being myself.
So, the resolution? I need to start believing in myself. I'm not sure how directly. Until then, I'm going to start using other people. I'm going to quote an anime to get me started (Gurren Lagann). Kamina, this totally awesome character, won't let Simon, the main character, not do something because he is afraid. He has all the confidence in Simon, and Kamina lets his actions show this by not taking over when he could easily have handled the situation. One time, Simon began to panic and was about to let fear take over and give up. But Kamina said something to him, which caused him to act and persevere. He told Simon: "Don't believe in yourself. Believe in me who believes in you."
I'm going to be honest, every time I see this scene, I tear up. That confidence, that trust, his willingness to put his life on the line, showed me that Kamina was using the word "believe" to the full extent. If I can't seem to find that belief in myself at the moment, then I'm going to believe in others' belief in me. There has to be some reason why they are there for me, and that stemmed from who I am.
This leads to my final thought: I've been focusing so hard on "being better". I now see that it is too broad. That can mean too many things. There's almost an infinite amount of ways I could "be better", but lose who I am. Therefore, I'm going to start focusing on this: "being a better me."
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